separation and child support woes
Juvena is glad to finally achieve separation but she didn't bargain for ending up in poverty doing menial work in order to take care of her children while her deadbeat ex is free to earn up big doing untaxed work and doesn’t pay the correct child support.
“I am furious that I am stuck with the kids in poverty doing menial work," says Juvena, “but I wouldn’t report my ex for not disclosing his true income because I don’t want to ruin my kids’ lives.”
“Because single mothers often have no help with housework and menial chores at home,” says Juvena, “having a job outside the home that is interesting – i.e. not menial – is so vital for personal nourishment.”
"So, it’s not so much about money as self-esteem," says Juvena, “and I have very little of that left now that all the money I earn goes to supporting my children rather than being spent on things I need to make me feel good – you know, clothes, shoes, hairdressing, etc.”
"Unfortunately, a lot of separated mothers are forced by their circumstances to accept jobs that are as menial, if not more so, than the work they do at home," says Juvena, "and this is not only bad for their self-esteem but also for their future prospects."
"I’ve heard that getting out of menial work when your kids grow up is an uphill battle," says Juvena. "Labels stick. When you’ve spent time in a low paid part-time job in order to look after your children - like I’m doing - employers aren’t eager to upgrade you when you’re ready to work full-time, take on more responsibility and earn what you're worth."
"Most part-time jobs are by definition 'menial' jobs," says Juvena. "They are jobs we do because they fit in with our needs as single mothers. They do not pay much, they do not require much thought, and they do not carry much responsibility."
"However, they do provide us with the money we need to feed our children and pay our bills and they also enable us to be there for our children," concedes Juvena. "They also have the incredible benefit of being able to be dismissed entirely from our minds once we have arrived home."
“If my deadbeat ex were paying the correct child support I wouldn’t be in the mess I am in now,” says Juvena. “I don’t know how that guy can sleep at night knowing that he has left us in poverty while he continues to enjoy life – but I know he does sleep well at night, that’s why he such a deadbeat.”
Read more by Juvena on this issue:
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