war brides
Olive married at 26 in the scary days of the outbreak of war in Europe in 1939 and spent the next fifteen years regretting such an ill-timed decision.
"I should have joined the army," sighs Olive, "but I was a simple country girl working as a domestic servant in London, far away from my family, and Ted just turned up at a critical point in my life, in terms of world events, and when he asked me to marry him before he went off to war I didn't hesitate to say yes."
"I didn't love him," explains Olive. "I didn't even know him well - we had just met - but lots of young people were caught up in the nationalism of the times and it seemed unpatriotic not to make a soldier happy before he went to war."
"He told me that if he didn't come back from the war I would be entitled to a war widow's pension as his wife," sighs Olive, "and I suppose that also helped to make up my mind. Marrying him meant giving up my job - only single girls had jobs in those days - so it was vital to know that I would be financially looked after."
"I was working as a scullery maid for a rich Jewish family in London," explains Olive. "The job was drudgery - but I was well fed and lived in a lovely house - and if the war hadn't come along I would never have thought of marrying."
"Ted had inherited a small house on the outskirts of London following the death of his parents," says Olive. "It wasn't much - it fact it was a slum dwelling - but all it needed was a woman's touch to make it nice and I must admit that becoming the mistress of my own home was very appealing."
"Mind you, my decision to marry wasn't entirely mercenary," explains Olive. "I was scared of the impending war, I was alone in London and I genuinely felt sorry for Ted."
"We had a quick civil marriage and then Ted went off to war a week later, leaving me on my own at his house."
"In those early weeks I was quite happy," explains Olive. "I busied myself cleaning up the house, getting to know the neighbors and writing endless letters to Ted."
"Within three months I realized I was pregnant," says Olive, "and I was happy and scared at the same time."
"Ted came back on leave when our daughter was born," explains Olive, "and he was like a stranger. I didn't want him touching me but all he wanted was as much sex as he could get. Back in those days there was no contraceptive pill, no packets of condoms at supermarkets and not much information on contraception at all. Women were supposed to lie back and think of England, but most of us used douches after sex to prevent contraception."
"Douching didn't work for me."
"I fell pregnant again immediately and life became hell," sighs Olive. "The war was going badly for the allies and I was terrified that the Germans would invade England and I'd be stuck with two little babies - unable to run away."
"The Jewish family I had worked for had moved to the country, taking the servants with them," sighs Olive, "and I wished I was with them and had never met Ted. I felt trapped and more alone and scared than ever. If it was not for the neighbors I would not have got through those awful years of terror, rationing, black-outs, freezing conditions and near starvation. I got Ted's army pay, and with it I barely made ends meet."
"I know it sounds awful to admit this," sighs Olive, "but at times I wished Ted would never come back - and my wish almost came true when he was away for a long time and then he suddenly turned up one day."
"He looked awful," remembers Olive, "and temporarily I forgot my own misery and felt sorry for him. As a reward - or punishment - for my stupidity, I fell pregnant again. I couldn't believe that despite careful douching I could be three times a loser."
"Even my mother - who was of child-bearing age during the first world war 1914-1918 - managed to get through the war years with just one pregnancy," laughs Olive. "I was born in 1913 - my sister came two years later - so either she was lucky or my dad had the decency to leave her alone."
"I'd read somewhere that if you drank a bottle of gin while taking a hot bath you'd have a spontaneous abortion," says Olive, "and that's what I did. And when that didn't work I used knitting needles. All I succeeded in doing was making a bigger mess of myself than I was already, and the lady next door had to take me to hospital - all the time telling me off for being a silly girl."
"I don't know how that third child, a little boy, survived the botched abortion and the terrible pregnancy that followed it," sighs Olive. "I was ill the whole pregnancy, run off my feet with two little toddlers and the war brought more bad news than ever to depress me. I had resigned myself to Hitler invading England and when that day came I resolved to kill myself and the children."
"Ted finally came back wounded and this time around I refused to have anything to do with him," says Olive. "I wasn't going to be a four-time loser. He became violent and abusive and nearly killed me."
"I took the children and left him and his house and went back to live on the farm with my father," sighs Olive. "It was the worst possible life for me from then on - my father was a hard, cruel man who worked me and the kids like slaves. I might have been a drudge working for the Jewish family in London, but at least I lived in a nice house, had pennies in my pocket and was free to go out to the movies every Saturday night. What a fool I was to give up the only good life I ever had!"
"With three little kids hanging on me, wailing their heads off, I had three miserable choices," explains Olive. "It was either a hard, cruel father on an isolated run-down farm; a sex-mad brutal husband in a slum on the outskirts of London; or put the kids up for adoption and put the whole miserable mess behind me."
"Ted never pursued me or wanted to see the children," says Olive. "I suppose he was as relieved as I was that our hasty marriage was over. Fifteen years later I received divorce papers - presumably he wanted to re-marry - and despite the mess he made of my life I never made any financial claims on him. By then, the children were off my hands and my life improved - but my youth and health were long gone."
"My story is more typical of a woman's life during the war than anything you see portrayed in romantic movies," laughs Olive. "Maybe the girls who married American servicemen did okay, but all I got out of that marriage was misery."
"If there's anything I'm thankful for it's that the allies won the war and I wasn't subjected to rape and torture like the German women were by the Russians."
"Also, I suppose I should be thankful that Ted had the decency to marry me before demanding sex," adds Olive. "My sister got involved with a rogue and spent nine months in an unwed mother's home where the babies were adopted at birth. It was a dreadful sin in those days to be an unwed mother, but she survived and ended up with a better life than I did."
"War may be tough on the men," says Olive, "but believe me it is tougher for the women left behind with screaming little babies that they never planned on having in the first place."
"I'm an old woman now, on my last legs," sighs Olive, "and it saddens me that nobody learns anything from the past. Women and children are still suffering from war, and right now some patriotic girl is giving herself to some soldier she barely knows and will end up with a story very similar to mine."
"I should have joined the army," sighs Olive, "but I was a simple country girl working as a domestic servant in London, far away from my family, and Ted just turned up at a critical point in my life, in terms of world events, and when he asked me to marry him before he went off to war I didn't hesitate to say yes."
"I didn't love him," explains Olive. "I didn't even know him well - we had just met - but lots of young people were caught up in the nationalism of the times and it seemed unpatriotic not to make a soldier happy before he went to war."
"He told me that if he didn't come back from the war I would be entitled to a war widow's pension as his wife," sighs Olive, "and I suppose that also helped to make up my mind. Marrying him meant giving up my job - only single girls had jobs in those days - so it was vital to know that I would be financially looked after."
"I was working as a scullery maid for a rich Jewish family in London," explains Olive. "The job was drudgery - but I was well fed and lived in a lovely house - and if the war hadn't come along I would never have thought of marrying."
"Ted had inherited a small house on the outskirts of London following the death of his parents," says Olive. "It wasn't much - it fact it was a slum dwelling - but all it needed was a woman's touch to make it nice and I must admit that becoming the mistress of my own home was very appealing."
"Mind you, my decision to marry wasn't entirely mercenary," explains Olive. "I was scared of the impending war, I was alone in London and I genuinely felt sorry for Ted."
"We had a quick civil marriage and then Ted went off to war a week later, leaving me on my own at his house."
"In those early weeks I was quite happy," explains Olive. "I busied myself cleaning up the house, getting to know the neighbors and writing endless letters to Ted."
"Within three months I realized I was pregnant," says Olive, "and I was happy and scared at the same time."
"Ted came back on leave when our daughter was born," explains Olive, "and he was like a stranger. I didn't want him touching me but all he wanted was as much sex as he could get. Back in those days there was no contraceptive pill, no packets of condoms at supermarkets and not much information on contraception at all. Women were supposed to lie back and think of England, but most of us used douches after sex to prevent contraception."
"Douching didn't work for me."
"I fell pregnant again immediately and life became hell," sighs Olive. "The war was going badly for the allies and I was terrified that the Germans would invade England and I'd be stuck with two little babies - unable to run away."
"The Jewish family I had worked for had moved to the country, taking the servants with them," sighs Olive, "and I wished I was with them and had never met Ted. I felt trapped and more alone and scared than ever. If it was not for the neighbors I would not have got through those awful years of terror, rationing, black-outs, freezing conditions and near starvation. I got Ted's army pay, and with it I barely made ends meet."
"I know it sounds awful to admit this," sighs Olive, "but at times I wished Ted would never come back - and my wish almost came true when he was away for a long time and then he suddenly turned up one day."
"He looked awful," remembers Olive, "and temporarily I forgot my own misery and felt sorry for him. As a reward - or punishment - for my stupidity, I fell pregnant again. I couldn't believe that despite careful douching I could be three times a loser."
"Even my mother - who was of child-bearing age during the first world war 1914-1918 - managed to get through the war years with just one pregnancy," laughs Olive. "I was born in 1913 - my sister came two years later - so either she was lucky or my dad had the decency to leave her alone."
"I'd read somewhere that if you drank a bottle of gin while taking a hot bath you'd have a spontaneous abortion," says Olive, "and that's what I did. And when that didn't work I used knitting needles. All I succeeded in doing was making a bigger mess of myself than I was already, and the lady next door had to take me to hospital - all the time telling me off for being a silly girl."
"I don't know how that third child, a little boy, survived the botched abortion and the terrible pregnancy that followed it," sighs Olive. "I was ill the whole pregnancy, run off my feet with two little toddlers and the war brought more bad news than ever to depress me. I had resigned myself to Hitler invading England and when that day came I resolved to kill myself and the children."
"Ted finally came back wounded and this time around I refused to have anything to do with him," says Olive. "I wasn't going to be a four-time loser. He became violent and abusive and nearly killed me."
"I took the children and left him and his house and went back to live on the farm with my father," sighs Olive. "It was the worst possible life for me from then on - my father was a hard, cruel man who worked me and the kids like slaves. I might have been a drudge working for the Jewish family in London, but at least I lived in a nice house, had pennies in my pocket and was free to go out to the movies every Saturday night. What a fool I was to give up the only good life I ever had!"
"With three little kids hanging on me, wailing their heads off, I had three miserable choices," explains Olive. "It was either a hard, cruel father on an isolated run-down farm; a sex-mad brutal husband in a slum on the outskirts of London; or put the kids up for adoption and put the whole miserable mess behind me."
"Ted never pursued me or wanted to see the children," says Olive. "I suppose he was as relieved as I was that our hasty marriage was over. Fifteen years later I received divorce papers - presumably he wanted to re-marry - and despite the mess he made of my life I never made any financial claims on him. By then, the children were off my hands and my life improved - but my youth and health were long gone."
"My story is more typical of a woman's life during the war than anything you see portrayed in romantic movies," laughs Olive. "Maybe the girls who married American servicemen did okay, but all I got out of that marriage was misery."
"If there's anything I'm thankful for it's that the allies won the war and I wasn't subjected to rape and torture like the German women were by the Russians."
"Also, I suppose I should be thankful that Ted had the decency to marry me before demanding sex," adds Olive. "My sister got involved with a rogue and spent nine months in an unwed mother's home where the babies were adopted at birth. It was a dreadful sin in those days to be an unwed mother, but she survived and ended up with a better life than I did."
"War may be tough on the men," says Olive, "but believe me it is tougher for the women left behind with screaming little babies that they never planned on having in the first place."
"I'm an old woman now, on my last legs," sighs Olive, "and it saddens me that nobody learns anything from the past. Women and children are still suffering from war, and right now some patriotic girl is giving herself to some soldier she barely knows and will end up with a story very similar to mine."
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